First off can I just say a really massive thank you for all the support on yesterday mornings blog post. I cried when I read through all your lovely messages and some people were even kind enough to email me directly. It means so much knowing that I have other support out there.
Withdrawal symptons havent kicked in much yet, am quite headachey and dizzy but thats nothing unusual with my anaemia. I have a feeling Tuesday/Wednesday will be the big days. Having said that though others find coming off certain antidepressants easy, maybe I’ll be lucky with these.
My mind is still a big mess. Had a huge arguement with my mum yesterday over nothing, which later resulted in one of my “I have a completely messed up head” catastrophic thinking panics which of course turned into nothing but did help Me and Mum make up.
Alot of you asked what my support network is like? Well its good… kinda. Mum helps as much as she possibly can but has a couple of nights this week where she wont be around. My brother will come over and entertain lil man for short periods if I ask him too and I’m hoping my lovely best mate will be able to drop round a bit when the going gets really tough. I am supposed to be getting a CPN (Community care nurse) but am still yet to hear from the team about that.
It’s going to be a rough week and not ideal when I have a sociology essay due in next week which I havet even started yet! Better get moving on that tonight before the symptons kick in big style.
I brought myself a Dr Demartini book yesterday in a bid to help myself somewhat, having said that though I have numerous self help books none of which I have ever got much past the first chapter.
I will probably end up skipping quite a bit of college this week I should think due to the symptons and may try and get myself down to the river just to sit for a while and do nothing. I feel I need that at the moment.
Onto a lighter note however the lovely Magic Mummy at Diary of a Frugal Family has awarded me the Happy 101 in which I must name 10 things that make me happy. Very apt for the moment as I need to be reminded of those!
One: Pumpkin. Aka my Lil guy:
J brings out the best in me. He has done since the day he was born. He alleviates my depression and has a weird sixth sense of knowing when I’m feeling crap and will often come and give me a random hug. I can be silly with him, Act daft and have fun with this amazing three year old who opened my eyes to the world in a whole different light the day he was born!
Two: My Family
All my family are important to me but not least my Mum. She is the one who has been there throughout my depression, who was there when I was in school to defend me when I could no longer. My dad and me have a volatile relationship, he doesnt want to take in anything related to my mental health and finds it hard to deal with. My brother is great and we are pretty close these days, dreading him going to uni in Sept!
Three: My Friends.
The above is my two closest friends, the two that I couldnt live without. B on the left and E on the right.
B I have known since I started guides around 2001. I have cried on her shoulder many a time and we have shared many laughs. I miss her so much at the moment as shes at uni and I dont get to see her so much but when I do I make sure I make the most of it 😀
E I met at my Maths GCSE evening course and something just clicked. We can be stupid together, we can cry together and we can sit in silence together, not something either of us feel comfortable about with many people. She is always there for me and I miss her when we havent spoken for a few days!
Four: My Photography
Photography is a release from me. A way to escape reality and play with and explore opportunities.
Five: My Home
Really lacking in pictures of my flat suprisingly. This was me and B investigating my kitchen prior to moving in last summer. I love it here. Its peaceful. Far back off the road. Only a few little other flats, we’re a block of four maisonettes (two up, two down) and in front of us theres another with 3 in so its pretty quiet. This place has colour and the oppotrunity to put up my own pics, something I couldnt do in my last flat!
Six: Nature + Space
There is something about being somewhere so peaceful and quiet with no cars around, no technology, no disturbances. I love it.
Cornwall was the holiday we had in 2007, a few months after splitting with J’s dad. I left my phone at home for a week and was at complete peace and ease whilst there. I felt so at home and so free by the people there and the vast open spaces. I knew then that Cornwall is where I want to live in years to come.
I have far too many of them! Many of which I never burn but theres something that I find so hypnotising about them. The scent, the way the wax slowly melts, the photographic opportunities.
Nine: My daredevil side
Thats me at GoApe last summer. I ❤ things like that so much. I never thought I’d say that as in school I hated it when we had trips to places like this but since then I have found a new found passion for it. I love being able to not think about anything as I fling myself off a platform down a zipwire over a stunningly peaceful valley.
I’ll let the pictures do the talking
London to Brighton 2008
Womens Hyde Park 5k 2008
Bridesmaid for Js godmother 2008 with my brother.
With B at Scoutabout 2005!
Stealth : 2007 – First Rollercoaster after J!
2007 – J’s Christening and two mates I’m sadly no longer in contact with
Oct 2009 = Angel the day she came home … shes much bigger now
Thank you Magic Mummy for cheering me up for a bit 😀
EDIT: Forgot to tag! Whoops ok here goes:
Sorry if you’ve already been tagged!