Easy? Or just different?

I’ve been thinking recently. About my favourite stage of parenthood. Theres nearly almost four years of it now. Everyone has differing views on developmental stages and how they are in terms of easiness etc. I know many men prefer the children once they are “over two” as I have so commonly heard!

Is pregnancy a stage of parenthood? If it is then thats my favourite by far! I loved it! I absolutely blossomed during my pregnancy! I loved my body and the way it was changing and I felt happy and secure in myself knowing I was nurturing this life. It wasnt a hard pregnancy. Up to around 15 weeks I had morning sickness in terms of I felt exceptionally sick but never was and was extremely tired. I sat my GCSE’s at 15-16 weeks pregnant and then had the rest of the pregnancy to relax really as there wasnt much point in getting a job and who really employs pregnant women? Not many! Up until 36 weeks it was smooth sailing! (If you havent already read my birth story feel free to its HERE)

Newborn stage? We’ll say up to 6 months. Well in all honesty the first week I remember very little of and he was in Nicu and I couldnt move so thats one week discounted. Once we were home? Bloody hell it was hard work! But then again I was also battling to recover from major surgery which had taken its toll on me. As my mother likes to remind me “You didnt have a standard c-section, remember?”. At the time I thought all womens recoverys were the same, slow and very painful, only since seeing friends who have all recovered a hell of alot quicker than I did have I realised that actually mine wasnt quite so straightforward! Parenting like that was hard. Mum was around bless her for ages to help and that was fab. The day to day motions were fine, it was the emotional aspect of dealing with a little person crying and my depression that was hard.

After 6 months? Well Me and J’s dad seperated when he was six months, thats when in terms of support etc the going got tough, 6m to a year though I really enjoyed in terms of J, he was changing and developing so fast it was hard to keep up with all the firsts, he was discovering food and mummy was discovering where we stood in terms of reflux.

1-2yrs werent too bad! He was finding his attitude, alot, but was developing into this wonderful littler perfromed who loved to move and jump and shout and scream. We were developing an inseperable bond and I  was enjoying co-sleeping and the benefits it gave us. I had passed my driving test too and this helped a great deal! We got out and discovered new places more and made lots of new friends, tantrums were few and far between.

2-3yrs. We had a busy year, moving again but you handled it all remarkably well, J was being more socialable and had spent time with other children a bit at the childminders. He was developing a huge passion for trains which he still has and a fascination with technology. Tantrums were hard going, he is EXCEPTIONALLY stubborn like his mother and wouldnt want to give in to whatever it was mummy was saying no to. Leaving anywhere that he was enjoying filled me with dread as I knew he would arch his back and scream blue murder no matter what technique we tried to approach leaving with. I was relieved to see the back of “Two” for that reason!

3yrs to now. Well if I was to have a favourite, it would be now. We talk, he can hold a conversation with me now, ok so hes more like a teenager half the time when asked what hes done at nursery and shrugs his shoulders but we can have a discussion and he has an amazing memory, I love hearing him tell me stories of things he did last year that have stuck in his mind! He will tell them with such passion and enthusiasm! He’s still very shy but mummy has finally accepted that actually thats just how hes going to be to begin with when he meets new people and that it does take a while for him to open up, I cant blame him I was the same. Mummys also learnt that he thrives off routine big time and isnt as much of a freespirit as she is, namely we arent going on holiday this summer for fear of breaking that routine. His imagination is as vivid as ever, today “baby” has been screaming alot and needed comforting by mummy but then J put “baby” to sleep in his bed so we had to be “shush” so baby could sleep! Its fascinating watching him come up with these things and makes you onder where hes got it from. Tantrums these days are alot less. A rarity infact. Today its safe to say was a testing one, I dont know why, I’m guessing it was the heat! But they happen.

I cant give an absolute favourite, each year has had its own highs and lows. Each day has had its highs and lows. But every evening when he goes to bed and gives me that beaming smile and a big kiss (accompanied by raspberrys on the lips) I know why I do this and why I make the best of myself. For him.


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