Ok so as if I wasnt going to watch this! I recorded it last night and am currently sitting watching it while I write this. Im so far halfway through and on week two.
Now dont get me wrong I can see that these parents were at their wits ends. I’ve been there. I was, until I accepted that some children wake. I realised this when I starting talking to other mums, at baby groups, online etc, who were also saying that at 2-3yrs old their child was still waking in the night. So what?
Adults suffer with insomina do they not and we are often told by the professionals that we need to teach ourselves to sleep again by relaxing etc, but the difference is that we have the prior knowledge of sleeping and so we can. Babies dont.
When I first moved out of my parents I decided that I would “fix” DS1 sleeping in my bed. However it didnt work? Why? Because we were both happy with our current arrangement and that was enough for us. The only reason I was trying to “Fix” it was peer pressure. The pressure of other mums saying oh well mine sleeps “12 hours solid” yeah good for you! Mine doesnt.
I tried the controlled crying, numerous times. The trouble is DS1 can scream for hours, literally, he will not give in! He is as stubborn as his mother. Fine yeah maybe it works for this family on the show but thats all well and good until you think about how its going to affect them mentally, if you have a child that is anxious about bedtime surely your only going to make this worse by taking away all their comforters and letting them scream.
Alot of the methods I have tried have surround more of the soft love approach that has been used by Indi and his parents on the show. However my weakness is the middle of the night. I can do the getting him to sleep in his own bed no problem, but return him to his bed in the middle of the night and he’ll start creating, thats all well and good until I start to feel weak, my depression starts to kick in, I start to struggle. There isnt a husband/partner there to remind me to keep going with it that it will work. At 2am when its just me and DS1 the fact that it may work no longer works for me.
Co-sleeping has been a natural thing for us. There is no bloke around that I’m having to kick out of the bed. Theres just me and him. Its got to the point I dont even notice him get into bed with me he just crawls in and I wake up in the morning and there he is. He doesnt always wake me, although admittedly its more often than not. But I dont mind. I’ve grown used to it! Its nearly 4 years now since I had a solid nights sleep. But do you know something? It doesnt bother me and no time soon will I be attempting to fix it or call in a “sleep expert”