I’m pretty gob-smacked to be honest that I’m writing this now. When I first saw that pregnancy test was positive I was certain I would lose another baby. I put up my emotional barriers and didn’t want t get my hopes up because I knew if I did it would only hurt ten times more. I refused to get excited. But yesterday my best friend turned to me and said are you beginning to get excited yet? And I had a think for a moment, weather I will ever be excited I don’t know, as my best friend put it, I wont relax until that baby is in my arms.
I don’t know that excited is the right word. I am being practical. We are slowly getting things together and working out how cheap we can get things, got myself a gorgeous nursing chair off eBay for 0.99p! Bargain or what? We know we are going to have zero money pretty much as we had planned on buying all baby things with the Sure Start Mat Grant … that was until they scrapped that for 2nd children, but thats a whole different post!
I’ve made the baby list and am slowly planning when to get certain things. At the back of the paternal grandmothers loft is a pram which we may well be using as it never got used by the lil one it was intended for so that would knock a great deal off the small amount we have to spend which would be good.
I’m 15 weeks and 3 days now but still dont feel like I’m “Blooming” not like I did with preschoolers pregnancy where at this stage I felt pretty good, having said that at this stage with his pregnancy I wasn’t running around after a 4 year old or trying to keep a flat clean and tidy. So that definitely makes a difference. I’m still finding that I need short sleep’s during the day but less so than I was in the first 12 weeks and the insomnia is somewhat improving, on the nights I don’t have to put up with someones snoring that is.
I’ve started to feel the little one move around now, those little flutterings that you get in the depth of your stomach! It’s a relief to start feeling them but also not helping my paranoia when I don’t feel them for a while which obviously happens a lot when they are so small! The bloke isn’t happy that he can’t feel them yet so no doubt for th next few weeks he will be moaning about weather they are strong enough “kicks” or not.
Housing along with money is another stressor at the moment. As I rent privately our current place is just not ideal, my room is far too small thanks to the king size bed the landlord has in here meaning that it would be impossible to get a cot in let alone a changing unit or any other baby stuff. It’s also first floor and the staircase is extremely narrow, wouldn’t be ideal to carry a buggy up and down the stairs all the time! Add to that the fact my letting agency are complete and utter d*****ds needless to say I would like it if I could move out tomorrow, sadly that is not possible. Around here at the moment there is very little in the way of housing to rent, the market is just dead, and what properties there are have tons of people going after them so you have to be seriously quick. I’m hoping that with Mum on half term this week we will be able to get around a few and see if they have anything suitable. We’ve written our “wishlist” of what we want/need in a property, most importantly parking and ideally a garden seeing as preschooler is such an outdoorsy child, that and I’m trying to find one within the vicinity of the schools I have applied to for lil man!
But I am trying to stay calm because I know stress isn’t good for the baby! I’ve got through a nice pregnancy yoga and pilates DVD this week so I’m going to start doing that in the evenings to wind down as there is NO pregnancy yoga or pilates classes within reasonable distance of me which is extremely frustrating.