When I had preschooler 4+ years ago I was 16, loved being pregnant, treasured every second and loved seeing my body change, even if it wasn’t all great such as my milk coming in at 15 weeks with him!
This time around I am finding that my view of my body is completely different. Hate is a strong word but I dislike it. Am I already dreaming of that pre-pregnancy body? Hell yes. I’ve gained stretch marks in places I never had them with preschooler and my boobs are bigger than I remember them being with preschooler. One thing I hated when my milk came in post birth with J was those solid coconut like boobs. I am small chested naturally and that is how I like it. I do not DO big boobs. I hate them. They are annoying and get in the way! None of my bras fit and its annoying!
With preschooler I only put weight on around my bump, I didn’t put it on anywhere else but looking at pictures that Mum has taken of me recently I can see that I am putting it on all over the place this time. Of course my bump is different as well second time around as you expect because the muscles have already stretched once before, so its not the solid football bump I had with J, its softer.
And the one thing I am completely sick of hearing? “Oh but you look so nice” “Oh your not fat” “You look blooming”. Whatever anyone says it means nothing. Its not going to change my opinion of myself and it just drives me nuts hearing it! So for gods sake people don’t all now tell me in the comments i look lovely! 😉
With preschooler I was lucky that within 3 weeks of giving birth my pre pregnancy jeans fitted. To be honest I think a lot of that was due to the trauma of his birth and the amount of weight I lost after. It wasn’t for good reasons put it that way!
This time around I know what to expect when I see my stomach and my scar post c-section. First time around it shocked the hell out of me because it looked so messy and horrible and I remember crying my eyes out over it. However now you can barely see the thing and so at least I know I can hold onto that fact that it will fade and go. The post baby orange peel stretch mark stomach? That’s one I will probably still find hard to handle but again I will need to remember that it does improve. And this time around I have my first experiences to go by. First time around as far as I was concerned I looked hideous and I never wanted to see my own body again let alone anyone else! But it did get better.
As I’ve mentioned previously I am desperate to get back to running again and as soon as I’ve had my 6-8 week check and been given the all clear by my consultant and GP I plan to get back out there with the buggy and get moving. I am desperate too.