I’ve been meaning to write for a while about attachment parenting. A term that has been in the media a lot recently and with the media trying to turn it into a negative thing and showing often only the extremes. Therefore ‘mainstream’ parents see it as a negative thing. Which pisses me off. As I’ve written before I believe as parents we should support each other and if we can’t we should respect our differences in beliefs etc.
I don’t consider myself an attachment parent. I follow alot of AP principles but not all of them. Yes we babywear, but we also use a pushchair. We breastfeed, but my first son was bottlefed as I failed to establish breastfeeding with him. We use cloth nappies mainly but if we are going through a bout of teething and frequent pooping we use disposables. We do baby led weaning, but my first son was weaned ‘traditionally’. I don’t believe in cry it out but thats my personal instinct. I tried it once with DS1 and it lasted all of 30 minutes before I decided we were throwing the rule book out the window and co sleeping.
For me parenting has been about instincts. I follow mine which means attending to my babies needs. If a baby cries they are communicating, even if thats commuinicating I want a cuddle and don’t want to be left in a room on my own. I don’t believe in smacking or aggressive discipline. Thats my personal opinion. We do what works for us and our family and what makes my boys happy. Because ultiamtely that is my goal in life, to make them happy, and in doing so I follow my instincts to meet that need.
Does that make me some crazy hippy? Maybe it does?!
What I find upsetting is the fact that parents feel it acceptable to attack one another. And it works both ways. I’ve been on both sides of the fence with many parenting choices and as far as I am concerned parents will do what is right for them and their families. If CIO works for them then thats up to them. But it doesnt work for me. If breastfeeding works for me and bottlefeeding works for them, thats great, as long as mum and baby are happy thats all that matters. It saddens me when I do see Mums attacking one another because they feel their principles are being attacked. In life we respect one another, other cultures, other religions, other traditions to our own. So why do parents often feel the need to attack one another rather than respect one another? Who knows but what I do know is it upsets me that we sometimes seem to forget parenting is an individual thing. Its not black and white. Its a million shades across the rainbow!