This morning I saw this image on the BabyCalm Facebook Page with a comment that felt incredibly negative.
Its no secret to regular readers that I’m a c-section Mum … twice over! One was an emergency, my dream natural birth out the window in place of a sun-roof with complications arrival! The second was a planned, to avoid a further EMCS as I have two uterus’ and although I could have attempted to deliver naturally I’d have been putting mine and my babies life in too much danger and when you already have one son I wasn’t prepared to run the risk of him losing me!
C-sections are made out by so many to be a negative in general. To be a failure on the mothers part. But surely if medical science has provided us with a way to deliver a baby safely in terms of the mother and the baby being safe and well then it should be deemed a positive should it not? Maybe it isn’t the all natural/hypnobirthing/no-pain relief birth that many c-section mums originally planned to have but that doesnt mean its a bad thing! There is still a positive outcome in the end … a beautiful HEALTHY baby!
It took me 4 years to come to terms with the fact I hadn’t failed and to accept that my EMCS needed to happen. It was only when I spent time with my birth reflections midwife going through all my notes and seeing that there was no other way things could have gone and discussing how we could make DS2’s c-section better that I begun to accept that actually there was no other way around it. My second section was a dream and I wouldn’t fault it for a second. It went smoothly, I had my amazing consultant deliver my son and fix up my dodgy uterus’ a bit while he was in there, I was able to hold my baby whilst I was still in theatre and then breastfed as soon as we got to recovery. It wasn’t a negative experience and I wasn’t a failure. I birthed my son in a safe and healthy way. It may not have been natural but we both survived to tell the tale and I’m still here for my oldest son.
I dreamt … and still do dream … of that natural water birth, with no pain relief, using hypnobirthing techniques and delivering my baby naturally but for me that dream is unrealistic. Its just not going to happen unless I want to put my life at risk. Which I dont.
People who judge c-section mums need to take into account the fact that often the mothers didn’t CHOOSE to have that section and are more often that not heartbroken that they didn’t get to deliver naturally and are beating themselves up over it anyway, so don’t go adding to that guilt they already feel. And mothers that did choose to had their reasons which are just as valid. If only there could be a little more respect and less negativity towards c-sections … then I’d be happy!