Why should single parenting be hard?

It amazes me how often I see people comment on how hard and tiring they have found looking after the children solo for a few days whilst their partner is away etc. I have been a single parent nearly 5 years.

In the summer I became a single parent of two. That was quite frankly a petrifying prospect I won’t deny. But the reality is I know no different really. For me its how its always been, if I’m honest, it was a heck of alot harder when there was someone on the scene! Being a single parent is what I am used to.

There has always been Me and Pickle. We moved out of my parents together, we have tackled college, nursery, school together. And we tackled a new arrival together. I discussed it with him, read the books, prepared him for it and it all went smoothly. There was no behaviour changes or jealousy from him.

If I’m honest I find being a single parent easy. But then I don’t have anything to compare it to really?!

Okay so there are days when its pretty bloody knackering.

And the nights can be lonely.

And if your ill then the housework is quite frankly screwed because you literally focus on the needs of the kids and the rest of it just gets left!

And you get next to no time to yourself, having anything but a 30 second shower is a miracle.

And bathtime and bedtime routines take some planning and a bit of flexibilty…

But there is the keyword I have learnt over the past five years, flexibility! I’m not the most flexible person. I like to know what I’m doing and I’m not happy if that changes. But when your a single parent sometimes you have to be a bit flexible.

Yes its exhausting sometimes. But its not the end of the world. And as long as we’re happy thats all that matters right?

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3 thoughts on “Why should single parenting be hard?

  1. Ditto! I have 2×2 and have been single from a few months pregnant for both my kiddies. It is all I know. I couldn’t cope if there was someone else on the scene! I proved that in between 1 and 2 babies. I don’t do relationship stress when I have mummy stress! Being a single mum can be hard work but I don’t think it would be any easier looking after someone else and their feelings and time so it probably isn’t any harder being a single mum. I just came across your breastfeeding post and loved you instantly! I love a fellow breastfeeder. x

  2. I think being an *isolated* parent is hard. I think that’s probably the main thing that people struggle with in the transition to being a parent – your whole life shifts and the places you looked to for support in your relationships or career aren’t always available or suitable when you need someone to talk to about how you’re doing as a parent. There aren’t always people around to give you 10 minutes to take a shower or eat a sandwich. You adapt to what’s around you and create networks around you. So if your main support usually comes from you partner and then they go away for a week you might not have other support in place (friends, family, paid for services, online, whatever form it takes) and so it can be probably really hard.

    I agree that there are things about single parenting that can be easier. It’s quite different doing it again with a partner this time round, sometimes in a nice way, sometimes not!

  3. I was a long time single mum to my eldest, who is now 16. These days I live with 3 stinky men too, one of them an adult! The thing I missed most when single was a sounding board. Doing all the day to day stuff was fine, but I am still grateful for my lovely Mum who was there to listen when I needed to talk discipline, or schools, or to say-‘she bumper her head, should I go to casualty’

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