Things are weird at the moment. The marathon is over. As is my latest OU course.
I knew there would be a post marathon slump/low/drop whatever you want to call it. I saw it coming in the weeks leading up to the marathon. My life was totally consumed by marathon training. What I was eating, drinking, rest days, run days, suitable cross training, avoiding injury etc. Everything was focused on this one key day. And then that day is finished and its all over. You can eat what you want, do what you want. It feels odd. And not in a good way.
Likewise I had been leading up to a big psychology exam which was the week after the marathon, so that week straight after ina way wasnt so bad as I was focused on revision. But then that was gone too. I walked out of that exam and actually felt sad. Suddenly I had time to think. Time to do what I wanted to do. As mentioned above this isn’t always a good thing.
I am a total overthinker. I’m really REALLY bad at it. And suddenly I have a ridiculous amount of ‘free time’ which allows for an insane amount of overthinking. Theres a few things that have been stressing me out and unfortunately because I’m not busy I can give them way too much thinking time and make big issues out of tiny little things. I am my own worst enemy with my mind at times. For a little while I found escapism in reading the Twilight series until it brought up some familiar themes which are running through my own life. I dont feel I can run as much at the moment because I’ve been so lucky with the offers of childcare whilst marathon training it feels a bit like cheating to ask now.
Its funny how having a focus can give you such a distraction. So much time away from your own thoughts. And how much self worth it gives you. The purpose it provides. Its safe to say I’m feeling incredibly lost and like I’m treading water out at sea at the moment!