Well for someone who was so happy with how their training had gone. Was feeling really strong, well trained and confident thats all gone! The last two weeks have been challenging trying to fit training in around various life events that popped up. Usually i have enough time its ok but things have been full on and a reminder that when i return to uni next year I wont be able to juggle being a single mum and training for anything. It is imppssible. Last week I got out for a couple of short runs and then ran the new forest 20 miler on Sunday. This week I managed a run on Wednesday evening which was a short and horrific 5k and then 10k on Saturday morning that was meant to be 10 miles. Last night I also came down with a horrific cold, having survived the whole winter without being ill… I GET ONE NOW?!?!
Im upset that my confidence and PMA (Positive mental attitude) have vanished. I was banking on them to get me through it. Now my head is just filled with self doubt and worries about my ability to do this. And to do it well.
I wanted to smash my current marathon time by 30 minutes. Now Im almost 100% certain that wont happen. Maybe letting go of that hope now though is a good thing. Last year when I did edinburgh, my first marathon, i spent weeks unable to see what an achievement in was as i focused on how i had failed to reach my target. Maybe this way i wont have that hanging over my head.
I know its better to turn up to the startline well rested but I cant help but worry I havent done enough.
If anyone has any tips for finding your mojo id love to hear them?
Ultimately I know i will complete it because im doing this for charity. Im doing it for everyone who has sponsored me. Im doing it for Matilda Mae and her brave parents and beautiful siblings and all the other angel babies and their families affected by SIDS. I WILL finish that 26.2.