Saturday I had my first ever DNF.
It wasn’t a spectacularly hard race that mentally challenged me. It was all obstacles I’d done before.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t physically fit enough.
It wasn’t because I was injured.
I was a bit poorly but really it was because mentally my head just wasn’t in it.
Thoughts of ‘you already have two hats you don’t need another‘ and ‘it’s just a piece of metal on a string‘ combined with being a total hormonal wreck and just not being able to stop crying led to me pulling out after 3 miles. I was ready to pull out a mile in and stupidly I pushed on a bit more. I ended up with my head in a really bad place by the time I did walk back to the car.
Am I gutted I didn’t do it? No. It wasn’t a race that meant enough to me for me to care. I’ve lost my love of OCR. And truth be told I’ve lost my love for running. I was so relieved to get back get my kit on and snuggle on the back seat and doze until the girlfriend finished.
I only have two events booked for 2017 at the moment and I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do about those. Both are long distances.
The rest of this year is going to see me do man v mountain. Could be interesting with my current feelings about running. Then I have a tough mudder, colour run and the rest of the men’s health series. I did have Bournemouth half marathon but I have taken the decision I won’t be doing that (space still for sale). My heart isn’t in running at the moment and that just makes it to hard. I’ve always been an advocate of do what you love. For a long time that was running. But now it’s being in the gym, hanging upside down from a pole and spinning in a hoop.
What do you do that you love?